


I'm lost without you

by ZealousWriter



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Love Confessions, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZealousWriter/pseuds/ZealousWriter
Summary: [post 5x08]Jane's heart is broken ever since her return from Montana, and Rafael slammed the door in her face. She has left Michael behind her, but can't let go of Raf. Rafael begins to worry about Jane as she goes down a dark path.//depression, self harm warnings!!!





	I'm lost without you

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy my dark predictions or ideas of Jane the Virgin. I love Raf and Jane together, sry Michael.  
> depression and self-harm warnings!!!!

It was 4 am, and Jane was wide awake. The words from Rafael last night still ringing in her head. She had just returned from Montana and rushed to his door. ….but Rafael didn’t want her anymore. She was just too late. The thing that Raf didn’t realize was that she didn't allows chooses Michael, that wasn’t the real pattern at place. Jane would always leave Michael to run into Raf’s arms only for him to just let her go. This pattern was real, and had repeated again. Jane didn’t want to face reality, she had lost her family. She didn’t care about Michael in Montana anymore, she just wanted Rafael back. So as the sun rose through the window panes at 7 am, Jane didn’t leave her bed. Xo wandered into her room soon after,

“Hey, I know you’re hurting are you ready to get up yet?”  
“I’m not going anymore today… okay. Just get Mateo ready, Rafael coming to pick him up.” As soon as she said this, Jane turned over, placing the pillow over head. 

Jane’s mom noticed her distress and walked down the hall to get Matteo up. At 9 the doorbell rang, and Xo brought Mateo out to Rafael.

“Hey little buddy, “ Raf smiled, and soon they were off.

2 weeks later, Xo was still the one to bring Mateo to the door, and Jane was in bed again. When she opened the door this time she was met with a strange face from Rafael.

“Is she still avoiding me?, I mean I know I dumped her but we’re supposed to be good parents first.” Raf said concerned.

Xiomara knew this wasn’t the cause, her daughter was in state of love-sick depression and hadn’t left the house… or in bed in days. But as the supportive mother she was all she said was,  
“Yeah, I guess she is avoiding you. It’s just hard for her to see you, give her some space for a while she’ll come around”, Xo gave a weak smile and closed the door.

1 week later, Rafael was sitting in the office of Mateo’s teacher. It was parent teacher conference day, and he was just waiting for Jane to walk through the door. He knew she would never miss something like this. To be honest he was kind of excited to see her, yes he is break up with her but it was only to take care of his feelings for once. She had constantly chosen Michael, and he didn’t want to be in second anymore. But he couldn’t deny he really missed, almost to the point that he wanted to beg her to take him back. But that couldn’t until she proved to him that he will always be her first choice, because he knew now he deserved better than waiting for her to finally see that.

“Is she coming soon”, Mrs.Masterson, Mateo’s teacher asked Rafael.  
“Yeah she should be…” Rafael was beginning to wonder, is she really still avoiding him.  
“I’m sorry but we should start”

The next day, Rafael called Jane for the 4th time that week and got no response. He was fed up, he knew Mateo was at Xo’s house because he was still attached to the family calendar. So he jumped in his car and went to Jane’s house. It was around 3 in the afternoon when he arrived, and he noticed Abuela was out because her car was gone, this was the perfect time to abush Jane finally. 

Rafael walked up towards the front of the house, but noticed the door to the kitchen was open so he just walked right in. There was a sticky note on the vase from Abuele reading: Get some sunlight Jane, go outside today plz. Strange message, but now he knew why the door was open, the gap let in a stream of light that polluted the dark house. No lights were on, maybe Jane wasn’t home. But still Rafael was curious and persisted further. As he rounded the corner to Jane’s room he saw the chaos before him. The room was dark and the door cracked slightly open, but he could see inside easily. The window curtains were pulled down allowing no light in, the mirror above the dresser was smashed and broken on the ground, yet no one had cleaned up the shards. There was a stench of mildew and sweat in the air. And across the floor were piles of clothes, among them scatters of pages. He wasn’t sure what the pages were from until he noticed her bookshelf once filled with glorious romantic fiction now empty and the empty spines of the books it once held on the floor shredded. Rafael gasped, he now knew Jane wasn’t avoiding him. He took a step forward and opened the door slowly, being careful to make no noise. There she was, Jane wasn’t sleeping like he expected, she was staring at the wall above her headboard. She was sitting up with the full comforter of the bed wrapped around her, she seemed so lost. Jane wasn’t on her computer writing or reading a book, she was just staring with dead eyes. Rafael paused for a second, this felt familiar but worse. It was like before when Michael died, the silence, the tears, the darkness that came from her. But something was different, she felt so much more empty and dark than before. Before you could feel her still there, now she was gone, lost. It was if the lost of Michael had broken her strength and when this tidal wave of heart break had come she couldn’t hold her ground anymore. Was it just because a guy broke he heart, or was it because she had lost Rafael? Was it because he was maybe a little more important, more significant than Michael had been on her life and her heart? Maybe he wasn’t a second choice. But those questions don’t need an answer right away. Rafael needed to speak to Jane, and maybe even help her.

“Jane…” His voice cracked at the shock of seeing her in this state.  
She spun around at his voice, her eyes dark and soulless.  
“What do you want…” She whispered, her tone was icy yet calm.  
“I came to talk to you about Mateo’s parent teacher conference, and…. But …. It doesn’t matter... Are you okay?”  
She stared for a minute, a little lost in the world,  
“...I’m fine, what happened with Mateo”, it was the same icy voice that resonates.  
Rafael began to step forward, and as he sat down on the bed Jane backed away a little.  
“Um, well he's having problems with paying attention in class, but his reading has improved… so that’s good” Raphael was gentle and unwavering as if time hadn’t changed anything between them. Being this close to Jane he could see the changes in her appearance. Her blanket was hanging off her thin bony shoulders as if she had lost weight. Her eyes held deep purple bag below them, and on top of her was a tangled mess of what once was a messy bun. She was wearing sweatpants and purple athletic shirt. Even though she was rough around the edges, she was still beautiful in his eyes. Jane then grunted,  
“So is that it… did you really have to barge into my house to tell me that” her tone now getting harsh.  
“Yeah, that’s it. I checked wanted to talk, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks”  
“Well I’m sorry I didn’t want to stick around after you told me to leave…” Jane’s words were firm but wavered at the end, as if she couldn’t bear to say it out loud.  
Rafael stood up heading to the window,  
“....you really haven’t gotten out lately have you” he said, ignoring her last statement.  
“Well no, I’ve just had some writing to do….” But her tone obviously showed a lie, then suddenly Rafael pulled back the curtains letting the light stream in. It sparkled against the dust floating through the room.  
“Ugh… hey why did you have to do that” Jane grumbled pulling her arms up to cover her eyes, and that’s when he saw them. 3 red, fresh cuts along her arm. Rafael froze in his stance,

“JANE!” he screamed, and she froze realizing her mistake. She retreated pulling her arm into her body. 

“I think you should leave” she said instantly.  
“Woah, I’m not going anywhere, you’re obviously not okay”  
“Yeah, because you’re here” she grumbled.  
“You need help Jane, she can’t stay in the dark all day.”  
“You can’t tell me how to live my life”, and with that she stood up and tried to push him out the door.  
But Rafael felt how weak she was, and with no resistance from her body he pulled her into a hug.  
“Jane, you can’t do this to yourself”, Jane felt a tear hit her head from Raf”s chin.  
And then she couldn’t stop herself, all the tears and sadness she had held back came pouring out. She was now sobbing in her ex’s arms. And as the tears kept coming she felt like they would never stop.  
“I can’t do this… I can’t do anything without you, I’m so sorry” was all Jane could muster.  
As Jane’s tears began to fade from dehydration and she caught her breath, Rafael turned her head up to his.  
“I’m really sorry Jane, I shouldn’t have pushed you away…. I miss you”  
And with no hesitation she kissed him, and he pulled her in closer.  
“I’m going anywhere okay, but we need to get you some help too” Raf said in a considerate voice, and Jane nodded as she snuggled into his chest. Then they flopped onto the bed, and for once Jane fell asleep.


End file.
